Another open source joke

Have you heard about the new low-calorie communion wafer? It’s called “I Can’t Believe it’s not Jesus.”

Good Writing

There are two types of writing I enjoy: Writing that conveys ideas clearly and simply and writing that appears effortlessly clever.

Sometimes you find both.

I ran across some of the “effortless clever” today on a couple blogs and I wanted to share a couple of lines from them with you:

Stolen from Rachael:

http://yoyodyne.wordpress.com/2007/04/24/a-night-out-in-reno/

At Second Street we slipped into the obese crowd.

The pearl among the swine of days.

All is perfectly not right with the world.

More Rachael:

http://yoyodyne.wordpress.com/2007/04/24/were-only-making-plans-for-nigel/

Jesus wept. Okay he actually got pissed off and whacked, but you get the idea.

Stolen from Laurie:

http://lauriekendrick.wordpress.com/2007/04/24/act-one-scene-two/

If the world is a stage, then I am Shylock in the middle of my sililoquy and my costume is (unbeknownst to me) partially stuck in my ass.

A blog, I am convinced, is the Schwab’s Drugstore of the new millenium.

True bliss had been fleeting; appearing infrequently. Like ”Brigadoon”, a village that magically appears on the horizon every 100 years–sans Gene Kelly’s pas de deux across a Hollywood sound stage, of course.

Check your work. Use your cosmic spell check. Just think how different Lech Walesa’s life would be if he could’ve spelled “solidarity” correctly

God’s Baby’s Mamma Jokes

What do you think Jesus was like when he was a teenager?

Did Mary–or as I refer to her God’s Baby’s Mamma–tell him to clean his room and he was all like “Hey, don’t tell me what to do mom. First pull the plank from your own eye, then you will be able to see the speck in mine.”

But you know Mary could handle him: “You clean your room or I will take this plank out of my eye and beat your butt with it.”

“I’ll make your butt so red wise men will be showing up following the light.”

“I will ground you until the second coming.”

“I will ground you until hell freezes over.”

“Don’t make me get your father to come down here.”

Did she bust him when he came home drunk?

“What is that on your breath? Have you been out with your friends changing water into wine again?”

Did Jesus ever try to pick up chicks?

“Hi, um, well I know I’m not on the football team, but I am the savior of the world. Will you go to prom with me?”

Did Jesus heal his friends acne?

When Jesus was in high school did he get a job working the drive through at McDonald’s?

“Would you like ______ with that?”

(I need something to put in the blank, but I’m not sure what.)

No shirt, No Sandles, No Service.